Assertion #4: Most Christians are not Christian

I think about this a lot.  I mean, this is the kind of thing that will keep me up at night.  I think what does that word actually mean.  How has its meaning changed overtime?  The word Christian often is a word I think about.  Well, I finally looked it up!

First, here is my own weird misconception on what that word means.  To me, for years, I have thought that Christian means "little Christ."  So that made sense to me.  We are to be little anointed people called to do God's work in the world.  We are all anointed, set apart, and called to continue Christ's ministry.  Of course, we all disagree on what that is.  Most evangelicals have made it a political party platform.  Whereas others have made it a list of rules to follow, or beliefs to verbally agree with.  Others have made it all about caring for the poor and suffering.  Or just a way to escape eternal torment in hell (because that's the God I want to follow, one which will torture you until you love him).

What I discovered is that the word Christian (Christianos) is only found 3 times in the Bible.  And like all good names for movements, it was originally meant as an insult.  It was a way to degrade those who follow and continue Jesus's ministry.  This word means a slave of Christ.  In the Greek speaking Roman Empire, this ending was used to denote whose slave you were.  It was a dishonoring title.  So if you were a slave of Peter's then you would be called Peterianos, as a title denoting your status.  You are not free and you belong to Peter.

So I assert that most Christians (including myself) are not Christian in that we are not truly slaves of Christ.  Our titles tends to be whatever our jobs are.  And I would find it weird if someone said their title was Christian.  I would assume it is ploy to sell me something.

By the way, Christ is an Eschatological title.  It is a title that points to a future that is being ushered in by this person.  It is an anticipation of the full realization of the coming Kingdom of God, which has no death and dying (a.k.a. sin). So being a slave to this person means that you are participating in the coming of this Kingdom.  You are participating in making this partially realized Kingdom a full reality. It is not an honorable position.  It is a servants position in which you lose your identity as whatever you are in this current age and you are fully identified in this future.  It is a position with a foot in two eras being split in half by participating in both at the same time.  Bringing eternity to right now while staring in the face of death and despair.  Speaking hope in the place of despair.

I am not a slave of Christ the way I should be.  I fall in and out of bondage to the gospel and bondage to sin and death.  I would venture that most people who call themselves Christian would not like being called slaves. We prefer follower or occasional church attender.  Slave is such a harsh term with a lot of baggage. It was originally meant as an insult, but the early church decided to make the normative title. So normative that today it means almost nothing.

Assertion #3: Moving to another country due to an election is just a silly threat

I hear people say things like I'm moving to Canada, or Australia, or umm...Uzbekistan (I've never hear this one, but still) because whomever has been elected to whichever office.  The absolute worst thing in the world is that they elected some communist, fascist, elitist, backwoods, Muslim, Christian, baby killer man or woman to this important political office (that list of adjectives was kind of fun to make).

After every election cycle we should lose about a quarter of our eligible voters to some other country that may or may not follow whatever principle that they are looking for.  I don't think people actually do the research on these countries.  I mean Uzbekistan, really?  Strangely, this quarter of the eligible registered voters and their families are still here to make this empty threat again.  Until people follow through with this threat, I condemn it as stupid.  When someone from Australia says to me, oh I met this guy who moved here because Obama was re-elected, I'll have to reconsider my thoughts somewhat.

Side note: I think conservatives wouldn't like Australia or Canada.  I hear Uzbekistan is nice (I haven't really heard that) or maybe Germany or Portugal or Saudi Arabia or Mexico, why doesn't anyone say they are leaving for Mexico when their politician loses?

Anyway, what makes people think that another country is going to be any better.  I mean our political system was designed to be slow and it is intentional that everything always grinds to a halt.  Our system is working because it is still really hard to pass a law.  Of course, stupid laws get passed all the time. And yes, the political game is totally annoying and entertaining and stupid (I'm a fan of this work today). Although things change as new people become in charge in this republic, nothing changes super fast.  So stick it out, fight for the changes you think are most important, and fight to preserve things that you think need to be preserved.  In the end, if things get really bad you can always go to a place where nationalize healthcare is in place like Canada or Australia and then everything will be better for you.

Assertion #2: Money is an Evil I'd Like to Try

There are so many cliches about money.  Things like, money doesn't buy happiness, money is the root of all evil (which is a misquote of a bible verse). I totally agree that money does not bring about happiness. As the late rapper will attest to "Mo Money, Mo Problems."  Greed can be the cause of all kinds of horrible things in this world.  The pursuit of money above all else creates sweat shops where poor kids work 12 hour days for little money in horrible working environments.  It causes wealth at the expense of others.  It causes unnecessary competition between people.  Greed creates a lot of problems, that's why it's a deadly sin.

Money itself is neutral.  It doesn't create anything.  The correction to the misquote above is something like, "the love of money in the root of all kinds of evil" (1 Timothy 6:10).  Not that money is evil.  Money is a tool. Greed is evil.  I disagree with our late rapper friend, Biggie Smalls, I believe mo money, different problems,  which doesn't flow as well in a song.  Not being able to pay the rent, feed your child, feed yourself are all real problems.  Not knowing where your next meal comes from is a problem.  Deciding between whether you are going to eat or child will have diapers is a problem.  There are a lot of problems that go along with little or no money.

I can talk about the problems associated with not having much money.  Student loans helps me understand some of those problems, but not the extremes that I mentioned above.  I don't know what the problems are with having "mo money".  I would like to experience those problems.  I would like to know the problems, but only for research, of course.  This isn't greed, right?

Here is the song I referenced several times:

Assertion #1-Manliness is not selfishness

I have decided to change my format on this blog a little.  It has been called meaningless assertions the whole time, but I have not been very assertive in my assertions (see what I did there, that was fun).  So, from here on out, I'll be making assertions and number said assertions.  They may be social, political, theological, or just random assertions, but above all they will be meaningless and mine.

Assertion #1-Manliness is not selfishness.

Do you remember that Dodge Charger commercial from 2010?  It was a Super Bowl commercial I believe, and I can say honestly it really irritated me.  If you don't remember here it is:

It's called "Man's Last Stand."  Here is my problem.  It basically says, "I will be considerate of you as a person implying that being considerate is emasculating as long as I can drive this powerful 'manly' car."  I will be considerate of you, only if it will get me what I want.  I can understand the office things.  I mean let's face it two hour meeting are horrible, but putting the seat down, cleaning the sink after shaving, these things are just being considerate.

Increasingly, in my view of the world, being a man means being selfish.  Look at most Vince Vaughn movies.  He plays a petty selfish man perpetually stuck as a 12 year old boy.  There is nothing wrong with 12 year old boys, but a 40 year old needs to act differently.  It cannot be all about self and satisfying your own desires. Side note: that shouldn't be what 12 year old boys should do either.

Being manly in my view has nothing to do with selfishness.  In fact, I believe the best thing you can do as a man is to be selfless.  Obviously, there are times that you have to take care of yourself, but you cannot always do that.  Being a man or being mature means caring for others and being considerate of others regardless of your reward for it.  Being a man should be defined by how you put your abilities to work to make this world a better place.  Having a penis doesn't mean that you have the right to be selfish, instead it means that you need to understand that everyone has personhood and needs to be respected.  Manliness is being considerate and caring, not self seeking and overly aggressive.

How would you define being a man?  Does the way being a man is portrayed in the media ever make you angry?

There is No Cosmic Why!

Tragedy is everywhere.  We all face some pretty horrific things in our lives and we all hear about even worse things.  From war, to rape, to other acts of senseless violence there is a normal question asked into the universe..."Why?"  God gets this question in response to tragedy all the time.  Why did so and so have to die?  Why did that happen? Why is there war, famine, drought, pain, suffering, sorrow?  Why is there so much bad?

I believe, along with others I hope, that God does not cause these things to happen.  Therefore, there is no why.  There is no cosmic reason for pain and sorrow.  The only reason is people are stupid or there is a scientific reason for most natural disasters.  There is natural cause and effect, but there is no cosmic reason for the bad that happens.

If I truly believe this line of thinking then it has to apply to everything.  Thus, I have to ask did God really caused the pain and suffering of Good Friday, or did humanity?  It's often thought of as part of God's master plan, but why would God cause so much pain if God doesn't still cause it today.  Is this the one exception to my belief?  I was told as a kid and teenager that God orchestrated the whole cross thing because it was God's way and plan for redemption.  But what if just like God doesn't cause the hurricane that rips through a major coastal city, or doesn't cause the car crash that killed that teenager, God didn't cause the crucifixion?  Would it change anything?

Here is my assertion: I believe that God didn't cause Christ's crucifixion, but instead knew it was coming.  All of those times when Jesus is predicting his own death had less to do with God's causation and more to do with humanity's own patterns and causation.  Jesus knew that things he was saying and doing was in direct contrast to the ruling authorities of the day.  It was especially an affront to the Roman way of life.  Therefore, he knew he was going to be crucified, but he also knew that he couldn't live any differently than he was.  He knew that there was a better way to live and a just kingdom to look forward to.  He knew that he has the start of the that just kingdom, so he had to live in it now realizing the consequences of his actions.  Therefore, God did not cause the crucifixion to happen, but instead it was caused by our own systems.  The crucifixion exposes our systems of domination and violence for what they are.  And they are not of God!

There is a second half to my belief that God doesn't cause the bad things to happen in our lives.  And it is but God brings the good in the bad situation.  What I mean is that in the face of tragedy, people will throw aside differences to become one for the greater good.  They will rebuild cities.  Cry with a friend who lost a loved one.  Decide to dedicate her life to the research and cure of a disease.  Educate people on the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse.  In the face of tragedy when everything is looking absolutely horrible there is always a little good that God is working into the problem.  Just like how on the third day, God raised Jesus from the dead, ushering in and validating the kingdom that Jesus had started to build.  In the face of death there is always resurrection.  So in the face of tragedy, we should absolutely mourn, but also have hope that in the face of violence, pain, suffering and sorrow there is the crucified Christ reminding us that there is always resurrection.

Amen?

Misunderstood Words

So, I've been reading and thinking a lot about misunderstanding words.  Or more accurately, the way words change in meaning over time.  Since, I'm a big geek and mostly ready theology books (especially Biblical Theology books) I've been mostly thinking about the way a 1st Century Palestinian would understand a word versus how we understand it today.  Appropriate for the season maybe we should look at what the word resurrection means.  The first thought that come to my head is zombies.  We have the popularity of "The Walking Dead" to help us all think about zombies.  Doesn't resurrection sound just a little like zombies? Jesus got up out of the grave after being dead for a while and on top of that we eat Jesus' flesh and drink his blood...zombies.

That's definitely not what first century folks were thinking about when they heard the word resurrection, and probably not most of you.  Sometimes as N.T. Wright writes about in "Surprised by Hope" we confuse resurrection with a great soul migration.  We dismiss the material and make it a move to the spiritual.  This is an easy move to make.  This world sucks so we are going to leave it behind as we transition through death to a purely spiritual life.  This is what Plato was apparently all about (I'm excited because I'm going to read some Plato soon).  It's what the Gnostics were all about.  If you don't know they were a heretical sect of Christianity that considered the material world to be evil and the spiritual was good.  The only thing that mattered was the non-corrupted soul because your body was evil.  It's an easy thing to slip into because we can look around and see how much evil there is.  But God did call the world good in Genesis and the end of that story called everything very good so maybe the material is rebellious and incomplete rather than evil. 

So what does resurrection mean?  Jesus' resurrection was the first resurrection of many to come.  The resurrection was so surprising to the first century because they thought it was going to happen all at once.  All of the faithful who died was going to be resurrected all at once into a new life in which God dwells among the people.  It's an end times vision, not end of the material world, but rather the renewal and completion of the material world. Christ's resurrection means that this renewed age has begun and was a sign that this world is being transformed into the complete vision of God.  Resurrection is a symbol, which participates in and points to God's coming transformation of this world into heaven.  And we are called to continue showing glimpses of this resurrection to the world that is continually being transformed into something better than we can ever imagine. 

What do you think about when we talk about resurrection? Zombies? Going to Heaven? Something else?

Doubting

I just did a message with my students about doubt, and I'm not sure I really said anything.  I told them of times of doubt in my life.  I said that doubt can be used to deepen or further your faith.  I'm not sure I really explained how.  It turned into a "look at other people who doubted but chose to act on faith anyway" message instead of a "this is how doubt can be good for you" message.  All I really said is that you are going to always have doubts and questions, but I didn't get into how it works.  Maybe it's because I have some residual "it's not okay to doubt" lesson leftover from my childhood.

As I think more about it, I keep coming back to the book Insurrection by Peter Rollins.  In this book, Rollins talks about what he termed "Pyro-Theology" (please excuse the lack of page numbers, I don't have the book with me).  This is the process of lighting everything about your faith and religion on fire.  Whatever stands at the end of the fire is what faith is about.  Run with your doubt so that it completely deconstructs all that is part of your religious and faith experience until you get to the stuff that can't be taken apart any further.  Then, build your life on that.  Doubt is what you use to grind away the unnecessary fluff of religion, the stuff that doesn't make sense, the stuff that is contrary to real life experience, the stuff the leads to hate or destruction.  Doubt is needed to get past the junk in our faith traditions so that you can truly come face to face with truth.

Trying to do this Pyro-Theology would definitely not be easy.  It wouldn't be comfortable, but maybe it's comfort that is keeping us from authentic faith.  Maybe authentic faith cannot come without setting fire to the faith you have.  Maybe doubt is more important to faith than acceptance.  And perhaps once you burn it all down to see what's standing, you'll find that all the fluff that burned to the ground makes more sense.  Then you can build it back up with purpose and understanding, while replacing the structures that don't fit.

What do you think?  How has doubt helped you go further and deeper with your faith?  What have you burned to the ground?  What was left standing?

Immutable

Today, I was trying to center myself and get in tune with God.  I was laying on the floor praying, meditating, contemplating, when I started saying in my head, "Thy will be done" over and over.  Then, it morphed from the Lord's prayer to something more like "Not my will but yours be done."  Which I think is from Jesus' prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane (only took two times to spell that correctly).  

Then, my contemplation broke down, or at least changed.  I began to think about immutability. I began to ask is God immutable or am I?  Is the problem God or me?  I've been having a hard time conforming to God's call and I found myself wondering if God has compromised as much as God will.  Maybe I'm the one stubbornly standing my ground.  Is it me digging my feet in, not willing to bend a little?  Maybe God isn't the "Unmoved Mover" that Aristotelian thought has poisoned our faith with.  Maybe God is super flexible, yet knows when to stop. 

There are a couple of different lines of thought that remove immutability from the list of attributes we give to God.  Most notable is the Open Theism of the Evangelical movement (Greg Boyd is a big proponent of this), and then there is Process Theology, which is based from Alfred North Whitehead's philosophy.  Both of these visions of God show a God who is moved by us.  A God who loves us and responds to us, who is changed by us (this might more process than open theism). But I wonder what the Eastern Church or the Church fathers thought of this.  If you know feel free to leave a comment. 

This process/openness thought seems much truer to the God who offered to spare Sodom and Gomorrah (three tries on that one) as God struck a deal with Abraham.  The God who changed plans in the desert during the Exodus as a response to the way the Israelites acted.  This seem more mutable than immutable.

So what do we do with this?  Is helpful to recognize that God is bending at least to point to us and is inviting (not forcing) us to bend a little more towards God? 

The Prayer Exchange?

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about prayer, partly because I'm doing a series at my church on it, and partly because I've been struggling with prayer.

The struggle I have often with prayer is simply, what does it do?  I know that it is a way to connect and build a relationship with God.  That seems to work in a contemplative style of prayer, which I love.  But what about those prayers of petition.  You know the prayers asking God for things.  Besides the feeling that God should be a cosmic vending machine giving us what we ask for if we can only put the combination of change together and hit the right button (part of the message for tomorrow), I just wonder what the point is if God is really going to do whatever God feels is best at the time.  And looking around the world, it can be pretty hard to see what God is doing.

So I can pray for whatever I want and God will answer however God wants, then what's the point?  Should we do these kind of prayers at all?  Even prayer request time can quickly turn into gossip time.  Someone will lift up a prayer and then we ask all kinds of questions to get more detail as if the more details we give God the better the chance of God granting that wish (Is God a Genie?).  Which seems to be a perversion of the spirit of prayer requests. 


In exchange for talking to God, God will grant us three wishes, I mean prayer requests.  Then all will be well.  Except it doesn't seem to work that way at all.  It seems like God works in this world differently than how we expect.  Sometimes it can feel like God doesn't work at all, or is that just because God refuses to encroach on our free will.  Then what do prayers of petitions do other than voice our deepest desire to the creator of the universe?  Maybe that's all it is...

Sacrifice

I don't understand sacrifice in atonement theory.  The sacrificial system is so foreign to me that I can't seem to wrap my head around it.  I kind of get it but not really.  More importantly, I don't understand how it relates to God.  Why does killing something bring us closer to God?  It just doesn't fit.

I have decided for 2012, or at least part of it, I'm going to research sacrifice and how folks following this Jesus guy understand him as an atoning sacrifice.  I think that means I'm going to have to look at the biblical mandate for sacrifice and reinterpretation throughout history.  I'm going to have to look at Girard's thoughts, which I'm not sure I'm going to be able to get a hold of.  And, I'll have to look at evangelical interpretations of it.  At the end of the research, I hope to have some understand of how sacrifice fits into bring creation into a right relationship with God.  Along the way, I'll post thoughts here.

But I'm going to need your help.  What are some great books and resources for the concept of sacrifice?  I took an atonement class in seminary, so actually I have some evangelical books.  I'm looking for some thoughts from more progressive, process/relational sources.  As well as, Jewish understanding of the ancient sacrificial system and why it is no longer necessary.  Please, leave any resources in the comments section. 

Jingle Bells

Every year my wife and I start listening to Christmas music together, and it is an absolute must that a Bing Crosby Christmas album gets listened to, as well as Frank Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, and others.  Although, my wife and I disagree on when the starting point of Christmas music is, she thinks after Halloween, I think after Thanksgiving, we agree on what quality Christmas music is.  We are not of the opinion that all Christmas music is worth it.  For instance, there is a song called "Christmas in Kansas City" that I hope is only played in KC because it is like radio active noise pollution.  I'm pretty sure it causes auditory cancer.  (Side note: cancer is not funny and neither is this song)

There is one song that we have from Bing Crosby.  It's an old hymn originally penned by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.  It was written towards the end of the Civil War, but every year this song really strikes me.  The song is called "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day," the poem was originally called "Christmas Bells."  Two things always strike me about this song.  First, the gender exclusive language which my 21st Century sensibilities struggles with.  Second, the emotion in the last two stanzas of the song/poem.

I'm going to write little about the first thing.  It just bugs me that we can't just put the word "all" in place of "men" in these songs.  But it was a different time with openly misogynistic views instead of our veiled misogynistic views of today...

The second thing is the reality that 2000ish years ago Christ's birth was supposed to bring about peace on earth, but what do we have.  We just ended one of two long running wars in the US, and worldwide there is so much struggle.  Let alone all the haunting memories and internal struggle that each individual faces.  Peace doesn't seem to be something that we really have.  The verse says "for hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

The following stanza or verse says, "Then pealed the bells more loud and deep."  The bells are the signal, a reminder that God isn't gone or inattentive or asleep.  The bells are a reminder of the peace we can have through Christ.  The peace we can have because God came as a person, experiencing all that it means to be human, so that we can experience a little more deeply who God is.  God has poured out Godself for you so that you may know peace in a way that this world doesn't seem to understand.  A peace through forgiveness, nonviolent correction, not through force.

Let the bells of Christmas truly remind you of the peace we have through God in Jesus the Christ so that you may strive to share that peace with everyone you meet!

Amen and Amen!

P.S. Here is a version of the song from Youtube for your listening pleasure.

Following Devotionals

I'm really bad at following devotionals.  Right now, I'm trying to read through "The Journey" by Adam Hamilton.  It's an advent devotional with a book attached and a dvd series as well.  I've read some of the book, but I'm trying to do the devotional each day.  I'm currently three days behind.  It's not that it's bad or anything.  Actually, it has helped me refocus a little and think a little more clear about the nativity. 

I struggle to carve out the time to sit down and just do it.  In years past, I've tried setting up a specific time for it.  That's not worked and this year was harder, not impossible just harder, to set aside the daily time.  My one year old has seen to that.  So this year, I read it when I think about it.  Which is usually mid morning while sitting in my office.  I'm three days off because I'm not in my office every day of the week. Plus, forcing it seems a little off.  Shouldn't I want to read a devotional in order to dive deeper into to the divine reality?  Why does it feel like work, even when I enjoy the writing?

I could use some input from my one lone reader who stumbles across this.  What do you do to get in the habit of doing a devotional?  What time of day?  How do you hold yourself accountable? 

June to Decemeber Not Bad

My last post on here was 7 months ago, and was a post about small groups being a fuller incarnation of church than a worship service is, especially in large churches. 

I don't have anything specific to write about today, just felt a little like writing publicly private thoughts on Christmas in list form:

1. Wise Men have little to do with Christmas.
2. Santa is creepy but St. Nick's my hero...although I don't hate Santa, he does come off as a creepy old dude with ways to peep on kiddies and deal harshly when they don't act as he deems "good."
3. I don't really know what Egg Nog is, and it's gross...but do we nog other things beside eggs?  Have some delicious cheese nog!
4. Matthew and Luke seem to see Jesus' birth very differently.  Why can't we just keep them separate and within their own stories? 
5. Commercialism is the new Jesus!
6. Advent is not a thing anymore...or is it?  Maybe advent is the time we buy things in preparation of better 4th quarter profits--our true god.
7. Justin Bieber should not have a Christmas album, or a recording contract.  I blame Usher!
8. When is someone going to write a new Christmas song that will be covered for the next century or so?
9. Winter is not Christmas.  Winter songs should be enjoyed all cold and flu season.
10. Pre-lit Christmas trees are a pain and should be outlawed.  They are only good for a couple of years then you have to take the lights off or throw it away.  Wasteful!  

Bonus:  Artificial Christmas Trees hurt my hands when I put them up, yet I put up three of them this year.

What would you add to this list about Christmas?  Who are you?  Do you even still look at this page?  Are you spam, or a robot?

Church Thoughts

I just noticed that I haven't put anything up here since my baby was born. My daughter was born in December and it is now June. She has grown so much and she is amazing!

I haven't taken the time that I should to write like I want to. I love to write, but I don't do it unless I make myself do it. I've also started blogging for my church some, which is an entirely different kind of writing. Here I'm just going for the thoughts that have popped in my head and I can't quite shake.

For me, I've been thinking a lot about small groups. Right now, I work in a larger church, and we do not have any formalized small groups/discipleship groups. We have recognized this as an issue, and we are working on putting something together. It got me thinking, though, that maybe small groups is more ecclesial than a large worship service. Don't get me wrong. Worshiping together is wonderful, meaningful, beautiful expression of our love and thanks to God. But it seems to me that the church is supposed to be more intimate than that.

In the Eucharistic liturgy the pastor says make us "one with Christ, one with each other, and one in ministry to all of the world." (somewhere in the United Methodist Hymnal). To me being one with each other seems more likely and more meaningful with a small group. Maybe the ecclesiology of a large church should be focused on small groups. Maybe the church is a collection of smaller groups, which fits together as a whole. A confederacy... a federation?

Just some random thoughts. What do you think?

Anticipation

So here we are. After months of preparations, wondering, dreaming...it seems the end is so close. It's palpable. I can feel it in the air, in my bones. As I was walking the dog earlier and caught a glance of the moon through the clouds I felt it. Something really big is about to happen. I can't shake the dull sense of anticipation, of longing in my heart. It can't be too long now, can it?

My lovely wife is actually full term today, and there is a full moon. More importantly, she has been contracting more and more frequently leaving us waiting, wondering when our sweet child will make her debut into the world.

It seems fitting that this is all happening a week before Advent. The dull sense of anticipation I'm feeling, alone side all the preparations is exactly what this season is about. Advent is the time of anticipation, of preparations, of waiting. Sometimes during the Advent season we have to wait. We've made all the preparations we can and with pregnant anticipation; we wait. And I suspect, just like with the birth of my daughter (hopefully coming soon), what we are waiting for is so much bigger and more wonderful than anything we can imagine. Of course, I'm not saying that my daughter compares to the birth of the incarnate God, but in a much smaller way my daughter's birth will be life changing. The birth of the Jesus was, is, and always will be life changing.

But we can't get ahead of ourselves. We have to make the preparations we can. Build that dresser/changing table. Decorate that room. Dismantle the office/spare room. Etc... But we get to a point where we just have to wait and see how much our lives will change at the birth of a child. At the birth of the incarnate Word of God, but you can't rush that birth. No amount of spicy foods or walking can make the baby come, but it doesn't hurt to try these things to jump start the process. What are the preparation you need to make before you encounter the Christ, the living Word of God? How much can you do? And when do you just have to wait for God to come?

Renewal

I often give talks about hearing God's voice using things like the 1 Kings passage with a still small voice. Lately, I have really struggled to hear the still small voice. By the way, some translations say sheer silence instead of a still small voice or gentle whisper. I maybe have heard the sheer silence instead. I have struggled to do what I'm asking people to do all the time. Sit and listen for God. Look for the work God is doing in this world and see God's face in the world.

I don't know if I have been too busy and too negligent to my spiritual needs. I need some of the water Jesus offered the woman at the well. I need some living water flowing over my body. I need to remember my baptism and be thankful. I need to immerse myself deep within the being of our God and come back out ready to expand my life to something that looks more like God's life.

I am reminded of an article that I read long ago about Mother Teresa. She did many wonderful things, and dedicated her life to helping other people. She really was an amazing and faithful woman. This article though told of a woman who heard God's call to start a ministry in India, then she never felt or heard Jesus calling to her again. She was insecure about that. It really hurt her, yet she kept doing the work that was in front of her. She kept working for God and giving all the glory to God. She felt God was absent, yet she stayed faithful.

I had a youth not too long ago talk about how he doesn't really feel God that often. He does really feel that God is saying much in worship services. He sometimes questions whether God exists, yet he is faithfully attending church and youth group. Sometimes though at kind of random times, during class or elsewhere, it all clicks and he gets how God is at work. They seem to be fleeting moments of clarity and understanding, but they come from time to time.

I have to say that I completely sympathize with that feeling. I over think things. I over think God. I love thinking about God and how God interacts with us, but sometimes all I do is think about God instead of being present with God. I used to have these mystical moments of clarity much like the youth above, which often lead to poetry or a feeling of purpose which was often vague.

I had a previous post about prayer, which was about praying ancient prayers. I still find great power in that, but I have not found the prayer book that works best for me. I don't follow the daily offices or anything. I'm not a protestant monk(should we start some of those?). Following God's call is a struggle sometimes and joy others, but I need to connect with God. It's not just about the ongoing call God has for my life, but for the renewing of my being for the nourishment of the soul. Without God, I don't believe that I can be truly human, or a true human. Truly living into what humanity is--beings who are created in the image of God. Connecting with God helps to renew that image so that we are truly human, emanating the divine truth to the world.

What do you do to connect with the Divine? What do you do to renew the image of God in your being? How do you best come to know the God who created you, loves you, and is constantly re-creating you into a more perfect being?

Peace,

mark

Sacred and Profane

What makes something sacred? What makes something profane? When does something switch over from being profane to sacred? Does it every fall back to profane again? I don't know if there is a good answer to all of this, but here are some of my thoughts.

There is a thin line between something being profane, or secular non-sacred, and being sacred or holy. This line is intent or motivation. My understanding is that there is no separation between creation and created except through the separations we created. I believe that God truly is all in all. God is in everything and everything is in God. Except that we sometimes intentionally push God out of things or reject God's existence in the world. We have the choice of how deeply we want to engage God in the world.

This means that everything has the potential of being sacred or holy because God is there in everything. Calling everything into a deeper existence in God. Anything you do, say, or places and things (nouns?) can be sacred or holy. The potential for holiness is incredibly high because God is present to us. Christ promises this at the end of Matthew's Gospel when he says, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matt. 28:20 NIV). Christ through his spirit is always present and always active around and in you, thus how can anything be anything other than sacred?

Although God is always present to the edges of the universe. We choose how much we are present to God in the world. We choose whether we can see the world as being filled with God, or if we are going to see the world as being void of Christ's presence. We are meant to offer up all of the world to God and see God's presence in the world thus communioning with God through God's creation. Instead, we exploit creation. Instead, we push God out of the way and view the world as something entirely other and lesser than God. So if our actions in the world are strictly about survival and not about bringing life than I would say those actions are profane. If our goals is not about connecting with God then we are probably profaning the world, which leads to death and destruction.

Our attention needs to be on God and God's presence in the world. Then our actions, our words, our nouns need to be focused on delving deeper into the presence of God in the world. This means that eating can be a holy act when done as a way to consume God's presence in your life. Sex, conversations, dancing, playing, listening, etc. can all be done as a way to make these acts sacred, but can also be a way to profane these acts. It's all about the why. Why are you doing this? To bring about communion with God or for selfish/"worldly" reasons. We can misuse anything making it profane and ungodly, but we can also use almost anything as way to offer blessings back to God.

Quick word about God's otherness and God's presence in the world. Just because God is present to us in creation does not mean that God does not transcend creation. I especially think of verse that say my ways are not your ways (Isaiah 55:8 for example). We cannot understand the mind of God. We cannot approach God in terms of knowing what creation holds for us. We cannot fathom God completely. God transcends our understanding, but we can know God as well as we can as created beings through Christ and through creation. God is available to us, but not to the extent that we can fully grasp God.

Peace,
Mark

Written Prayers: Inauthentic or Eucharistic

I've been thinking a lot about prayer over the past few months, and just came to the realization about my struggle with it. I hate asking for things. It's easier to ask for help for someone else, but asking for help is hard. I hate doing it. I will do it, but only when situations get out of control. Thus, things must be incredibly messed up before I really start to pray.

I know people say that prayer is just a conversation with God, but then we ask for prayer requests, which are always the things that are going wrong in people's lives. This implies that prayer is about asking God to help others. This kind of prayer just doesn't work for me. Yes, we should be asking God for help because we can't do it on our own, but that can't be it.

The other use of prayer that I often see is the prayer of thanksgiving. This is that prayer that is much like writing a thank you to your Grandma for sending ten bucks for Christmas. Thank you so much Grandma for the cash it was one fifth the amount of money I used to buy a new video game. I couldn't have done it without you. Love, Mark. Dear God, thanks for a beautiful day, which I used to sit an office and look outside at how pretty it was. Nature is awesome God, nice work! Amen. Of course, we should say thank you for the blessings we have in life. It's definitely an easier prayer, but it doesn't seem to get you anywhere in terms of a relationship.

Conversations are supposed to build relationships. They are supposed to help you get to know someone else better, and you are supposed to leave a conversation a slightly different person because you know something new. Your life is changed because of every conversation you have had. But prayer as described above leaves you with very little change. Relationships are not strengthened by simply listing things that are going wrong in people's lives (although admitting weakness is definitely a step toward building a relationship), and dictating a thank you note to the Holy Spirit. Doesn't this seem a little one-sided and individualistic?

I read some of a book on prayer called "Praying with the Church" by Scot McKnight. The author makes a distinction between praying in the church and praying with the church. Praying in the church, are those prayers that you say as an individual. These are prayers that are unique to you. These are important prayers, but they are not the only prayers you should be saying. These prayers are overly emphasized to the point of completely discounting the other form of prayer that McKnight expresses. Praying with the church are those prayers which connects you to the entire faith community. Not just the local church. Not just your denomination. But all Christians across time and space. The Lord's Prayer is an excellent example of this. But there are countless others from various traditions.

Don't discount the connection with others and with God that comes through written prayers. Some discount them as inauthentic, but that simply is not true. They are prayers that connect you to other people. They are prayers that have deep theology. They are prayers that fill you with awe because of how it transcends time. These prayers can connect you with God and with a first century Jewish Christian, a medieval monk, and/or a twentieth century thinker. It is a prayer that can fill you, can encompass you and bring you into communion with God and God's church! A church that spans all of time and all of space!

Therefore, I think it is incredibly important for you to not just say those individual prayers, which ask for help and say thank you, but look into prayer that will connect with more than your struggles and the struggles of the world. Experiment with different forms of prayer. Try praying the psalms. Try using a prayer book.

How is prayer most meaningful to you?

Funerals

Today was an interesting day, and it got me thinking about the funerals I have been to in my life. Of course, there are the grandparents' funerals which each hit me in a different way. Grandpa Angleton's hit me because I had never seen my older brother cry so much, and I realized how little I knew about my Grandpa. Grandma Angleton's for me wasn't as hard, but I couldn't help thinking about how we used to visit and she made fried chicken for us. It is still the best fried chicken I have ever eaten and always will be. At Grandma Welsh's funeral, it hit me just how similar my mother was to my grandma. It seemed she got all of Grandma's good qualities, and it made me realize the legacy she left that is going strong through all of us (her kids and grandkids). Grandpa Welsh's funeral I wasn't able to make it to, but for me it consisted of a shot of whiskey with some close seminary friends as tribute to a man who in the hospital at the end of life wanted one last shot of Canadian rye Whiskey, which he got by the way (he had a great nurse). Those friends made that remembrance something truly special. They didn't know him but celebrated his life through ritualizing an action from a story my mother had told me on the phone. It helped me realize how important friends are in our lives.

The largest funerals I have ever attended or been around were those of a professor in college and a high school friend. Let's start with the professor in college. His name was Paul Simon, no not the folk singer. He was Senator from Illinois for many years. After his time as Senator he taught at Southern Illinois University. It was my pleasure to have him as a professor the semester before he died. This man was active to the very end of his life, and if you want to walk and talk with him you had to walk quickly because his philosophy was that if you walk faster then you can get more done. It was a pleasure to have known him even briefly. His funeral was huge and televised. I got sick and didn't make the actual funeral but I watched on tv as thousands of people came to celebrate the life of a man who was always working for good for the people of this country. Sharing just a little bit of life with Paul Simon was interesting because his class although titled "The Legislative Process," should have been called "Uncle Paul's story time with friends." He really did let you into his world as much as he could through telling stories about his time in office, and letting you know what he believes should be the next thing done in the House or Senate. It was an amazing time, and I am glad that I had the chance to listen to his stories.

By far the most difficult, most interesting, most life-altering funeral I have ever attended was for my friend from high school, who committed suicide his sophomore year of college. The thing that really struck me about this funeral was the shear number of people who came out to the funeral. This young man always had a smile on his face. He always was talking to friends and family. He was always encouraging. He was a good person to have in your life. For whatever reason, he chose to end his own life. And everyone who cared about him came and packed my home church, which was his home church. As I was walking into the visitation before the funeral, I ran into a friend I had known from church. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and tears in his voice and said, "Man, it is heavy in there." What a simply phrase that summed it up beautifully. It was heavy in there. It was stifling the amount of grief that was in that room. I don't know what the pastor said in the front of the sanctuary. I don't know what you would say in that situation. I'm not sure anyone was listening that closely. Before I left the sanctuary, his ex-girlfriend gave me a hug and said in my ear, "You know he really looked up to you." I don't know what that was supposed to mean, but I took it as you are someone people look up to. Use your powers for good, not evil. Be the person you are supposed to be. Be the person that people look up to, can talk to, can emulate. Be the person that my friend always thought I was. Be the person God is calling you to be. That was how I spent my 21st birthday, and I'm glad that I was there instead of in some bar. I'm glad I was there with my friends sharing stories, supporting each other, loving each other. That is what we get out of funerals that we were all changed and touched by having known this person. It is a reminder of the community that we have now, and is a reminder of the promises that God has for us.

Today, I was at the church for a funeral of young woman who died of cancer at the age of 14. I didn't actually know her, but I was impressed by the number of people who came out to celebrate this short life. I saw young people trying to make sense of what had happened. I saw adults try to make sense of it all. I saw hundreds of people who were touched by this young woman's life. I enjoyed hearing the stories of this young woman, and it made me think about life, death and resurrection. The most important story told was by the pastor who presided over the service. He told of sitting with her a week before she died knowing the her time was short. Their conversation was beautiful and meaningful and covered what Heaven is like as well as what dying is like. I will hold this conversation between this young woman and my senior pastor in my heart and will be sure to use the analogies that were made as appropriate. At this point, I'm not going to go into the details of it, but it did change the way I view death and dying. (I believe my pastor is going to publish this story in his weekly email. I may link to that or use it as the basis for a future post.)

How do you view death and dying? Have funerals ever made an impact on your life? How has the death of a loved one helped you rethink the way you do life?

Mark

P.S. Just so you know, it helps me to write these things out as I process what had happened this afternoon. How do you best process things in your life? (bonus question)

Sabbath

You know that post a few weeks back with a model for how I would attend to my spiritual life. It's not been something that I have done well at all. I am not good about meditation, although I think it is important. I'm not good about reading my Bible except to plan for lessons. I'm not good about setting aside time for prayer. I don't know why I struggle so much to get into this rhythm. This begs the question: Can I be holy?

The obvious assumption to this question is that setting aside sabbath consisting of the elements listed above is an attempt to be holy. Does prayer, fasting, Bible study, meditation, etc. make a person holy? This isn't usually the kind of question a protestant from the Mid-Western United States typically asks. But it is one that I am asking because quite simply holiness has alluded me my entire life.

The people that I look up to in my life; I wouldn't call holy. The pastors that I have met; I wouldn't call holy. The people who have impressed me by their convictions; I wouldn't call holy. Is holiness a term that can really be applied to humans?

My answer is yes. Humans are holy when they stop trying to be something they are not. People can be holy when they figure out who they are and stop trying to be perfect. People can be holy only when they stop trying to be like God, and acknowledge God for who God is and a person for who the person is. It's not about a mystical connection with the divine, although that doesn't hurt. It's not about the prayers and Bible study. It's not about Sabbath. Sabbath was made for us, not the other way around. Holiness has everything to do with living your life as a human. Recognizing that everyone else is living their lives as humans. Understanding that God is God, and we are not. Understanding that God loves us so much that God squeezed all of God's divinity into a human, so that God would know and understand what it was like to be human.

Being holy isn't about denying your humanness in hopes of becoming divine. Being holy is about embracing your humanness because God loved you so much that God is also embracing your humanness. Being holy is about living your life knowing exactly who you are in relationship to God and others. Embrace your holiness by being human in a world that tells you to be something else. Embrace your holiness by being embraced by God who knows exactly what it means to be holy. Embrace your holiness by seeing others as people who God is embracing out of love. Embrace holiness through prayer, Bible study, meditation, nature hikes, dance, play, lunch with friends, ____________...

How do you embrace holiness?

Shalom,
mark