#23-Listening to voices that are not in your camp is a hard but worthwhile experience.

I have a confession to make.  I am a theological snob.  I turn my nose up at any theology that doesn't fit my approved set of standards.  I turn my nose up at theological writings that I assume are going to be way different from what I believe.  Like I turn my nose up at super conservative, young Earth creationist ways of thinking.  I don't think they will ever actually convince me that the Bible is a science book.  But maybe there is a nugget of wisdom in there somewhere that can be helpful.  I usually just completely avoid people who make these kinds of arguments, but is that the right thing to do?  Or if I do read them it is in a dismissive sort of way that is just about seeing how wrong they are.  This can't be the best way to go about it.

I have been thinking about how I can enter into these writings and think critically without being dismissive and snobby towards other people's thinking.  I think it all has to come down to grace.  As I read a piece on homosexuality or any other hot button issue, I need to enter into this reading with grace.  I believe a certain way and the author of the piece believes a certain way.  Instead of tearing down the person who wrote the article,  I need to ask questions of the text.  Questions about whether or not I agree sure, but also questions like what is the motivation of this article.  Where does this person come from when writing it?  What are the points that are made that are wise?  What can I learn from this piece that isn't just what are the points I need to tear apart, but what can I learn to be more understanding of this person's camp?  How can I learn to be more empathetic to other people's worldviews?

I believe that the only way to actually change someone's mind or point of view is through real authentic relationships.  One time I watched a video interview with an evangelical radio host and Rob Bell.  The conversation was around the issue of homosexuality.  The radio host kept to the evangelical party line about homosexuality and Rob Bell talked about changing his mind on the issue.  Do you know what it was that had changed Mr. Bell's mind?  It was not a well reasoned argument, nor a certain hermeneutical flavor of Biblical interpretation.  Rob Bell changed his mind because of real relationships with real people who are homosexual.  Relationships are better than arguments at changing our ways of thinking.

Therefore, as I think about ways to respond to articles that are contrary to my way of thinking, I am going to try to be empathetic and try to enter into a dialogue with the author (using the text) to better understand myself and this other person.  It does no good for me to dismiss their thinking because it is different, but it also does no good to hurl insults.  The best way to become a better person is to read this article with grace as the lens through which I come up with a response.  This is what I am working on.  How to read and have conversations with people from other camps to become a more understanding person and to understand what wisdom is there that I may dismiss otherwise because it is nestle in thoughts I don't agree with.  In other words, I am trying not to be offended and reactionary, but empathetic and questioning.

How do you go about doing this?  Do you only read things you agree with, or do you branch out?  How has reading outside your comfort zone helped you grow as a person?

#21 A Dead Philosopher just critiqued my life.

I have been reading a little bit of Soren Kierkegaard's essay called "The Present Age."  His present age of course was in the 1800s so we are talking about different ages.  But there was something striking about his thoughts on his age that seems to pertain to me.  I'm not sure I like it when a notoriously curmudgeon of a philosophers pegs my own fear so well.  Anyway this grumpy cat philosopher (Is this disrespectful to that cat or to Kierkegaard?) said basically this, "Mark, you are really good at reflecting on self and others but those reflects never really get out of your head into the real world."  Only he said it in German and not specifically addressed to me and not in those words.  This is just how I heard it in my head. 

I think I can reflect all day and night on something.  And if I have someone to reflect with it is even better.  I can talk for weeks about a topic if someone is interested.  Few are, by the way, and this can be a very frustrating thing to my wife.  Although she can do it, too, if it is on a topic she is passionate about, but alas, rarely do our passion for reflection overlap.  This is a good thing because otherwise nothing of importance would probably ever get done.  

And that is precisely my fear.  I fear that I have become so good at reflecting and creating abstract assertions (some of which are meaningless, see what I did there!) that I don't know how to do anything worthwhile in the real world.  I think it is exciting to talk about the implications of Trinitarian theology, but I'm not sure I ever go a live them out.  I love to talk about how feminist thinking has enriched our culture and still has some work to do (this my wife and I can talk about), yet what do I do in a concrete sense to make the world more equal?

I fear that in an action-reflection model of life, I have left behind the action part.  I fear that I have become someone who only lives in my own mind and does little in the real world.  I fear that my reflections are stunted because I don't live them and test them in a concrete way in the real world.  

This matters to me because Kierkegaard was wrong about his present age.  He said they would never start revolution to change the oppressive power structures of his day, but then the French Revolution happened, and many revolutions happened across German to unify the country.  He was wrong about his age, but is he right about me personally.  I need to break out of pure abstraction and test these theories.  I need to question current power structures while coming up with new ways of living on this planet called Earth.  I need to put on ideas and become incarnate in these theories, so that I can see if they are really worthwhile or just really fun to think about.  Practice makes perfect, right?  So I need to go practice so I can critique and evolve theories into something more true and more engaged to effect real change in this world.

Assertion #5:New Year's Resolutions make me feel bad about myself.

It's the start of another year.  Somehow we made it through another one despite the threat of certain doom from various contemporary and ancient sources.  And although I'm thankful to be alive at the end of this tumultuous year, there is one thing I hate about the new year.  A new year always makes me feel bad about myself.

 A new year means a time of reflection and evaluation, then setting the dreaded New Year's Resolution.  I don't know how you are, but I am really hard on myself.  When asked, I struggle to come up with strengths but I'm ready to tell you all my weaknesses.  It is a problem I have always had, and as a kid it meant at certain things I tried harder.  Like basketball, I was a short kid who was told that I probably shouldn't go out for the team next year.  And with true Michael Jordan flair (sometimes I overstate things) I came back the next year as the starting point guard of an undefeated team.  Basketball became my obsession because I was told I was bad at it.  I knew my weaknesses on the court and always did my best to work on them.  That didn't really get me anywhere, but it is a way my personality flaw worked to my advantage.  (Some would say that was more of a pride/proving people wrong issue, but whatever)

So as I look at myself in the mirror and reflect on what could change in my life, I always dwell on the negative.  Then, my self-esteem goes down.  Because over time, my determination and resolve have gotten weaker while self nit-picking has gotten stronger.  I've nearly defeated myself.  Then, I just start to feel bad about myself, and this whole New Year's thing starts to smell like my childhood home on liver and onion day, absolutely gag-worthy! (Sorry, Mom.)

So this year, while I will be trying to work to improve on some things, I am going to start thinking more about my strengths.  I've beaten myself up for my weaknesses enough.  It is time to concentrate on what I do well, and reflect on those things, so that while I'll occasionally give in to dwelling on my weaknesses, I won't forget that I'm actually do some things quite well.  This is the year that I will focus on the positive in my life instead of worrying about the negative.

What are your resolutions or goals for this coming year?  Upon what are you going to improve this year?  Of what are going to rid?  (I'm working on the don't-end-sentences-with-a-preposition syndrome this year, but it makes questions seem awkward.)