I've been thinking a lot about prayer over the past few months, and just came to the realization about my struggle with it. I hate asking for things. It's easier to ask for help for someone else, but asking for help is hard. I hate doing it. I will do it, but only when situations get out of control. Thus, things must be incredibly messed up before I really start to pray.
I know people say that prayer is just a conversation with God, but then we ask for prayer requests, which are always the things that are going wrong in people's lives. This implies that prayer is about asking God to help others. This kind of prayer just doesn't work for me. Yes, we should be asking God for help because we can't do it on our own, but that can't be it.
The other use of prayer that I often see is the prayer of thanksgiving. This is that prayer that is much like writing a thank you to your Grandma for sending ten bucks for Christmas. Thank you so much Grandma for the cash it was one fifth the amount of money I used to buy a new video game. I couldn't have done it without you. Love, Mark. Dear God, thanks for a beautiful day, which I used to sit an office and look outside at how pretty it was. Nature is awesome God, nice work! Amen. Of course, we should say thank you for the blessings we have in life. It's definitely an easier prayer, but it doesn't seem to get you anywhere in terms of a relationship.
Conversations are supposed to build relationships. They are supposed to help you get to know someone else better, and you are supposed to leave a conversation a slightly different person because you know something new. Your life is changed because of every conversation you have had. But prayer as described above leaves you with very little change. Relationships are not strengthened by simply listing things that are going wrong in people's lives (although admitting weakness is definitely a step toward building a relationship), and dictating a thank you note to the Holy Spirit. Doesn't this seem a little one-sided and individualistic?
I read some of a book on prayer called "Praying with the Church" by Scot McKnight. The author makes a distinction between praying in the church and praying with the church. Praying in the church, are those prayers that you say as an individual. These are prayers that are unique to you. These are important prayers, but they are not the only prayers you should be saying. These prayers are overly emphasized to the point of completely discounting the other form of prayer that McKnight expresses. Praying with the church are those prayers which connects you to the entire faith community. Not just the local church. Not just your denomination. But all Christians across time and space. The Lord's Prayer is an excellent example of this. But there are countless others from various traditions.
Don't discount the connection with others and with God that comes through written prayers. Some discount them as inauthentic, but that simply is not true. They are prayers that connect you to other people. They are prayers that have deep theology. They are prayers that fill you with awe because of how it transcends time. These prayers can connect you with God and with a first century Jewish Christian, a medieval monk, and/or a twentieth century thinker. It is a prayer that can fill you, can encompass you and bring you into communion with God and God's church! A church that spans all of time and all of space!
Therefore, I think it is incredibly important for you to not just say those individual prayers, which ask for help and say thank you, but look into prayer that will connect with more than your struggles and the struggles of the world. Experiment with different forms of prayer. Try praying the psalms. Try using a prayer book.
How is prayer most meaningful to you?
