I often give talks about hearing God's voice using things like the 1 Kings passage with a still small voice. Lately, I have really struggled to hear the still small voice. By the way, some translations say sheer silence instead of a still small voice or gentle whisper. I maybe have heard the sheer silence instead. I have struggled to do what I'm asking people to do all the time. Sit and listen for God. Look for the work God is doing in this world and see God's face in the world.
I don't know if I have been too busy and too negligent to my spiritual needs. I need some of the water Jesus offered the woman at the well. I need some living water flowing over my body. I need to remember my baptism and be thankful. I need to immerse myself deep within the being of our God and come back out ready to expand my life to something that looks more like God's life.
I am reminded of an article that I read long ago about Mother Teresa. She did many wonderful things, and dedicated her life to helping other people. She really was an amazing and faithful woman. This article though told of a woman who heard God's call to start a ministry in India, then she never felt or heard Jesus calling to her again. She was insecure about that. It really hurt her, yet she kept doing the work that was in front of her. She kept working for God and giving all the glory to God. She felt God was absent, yet she stayed faithful.
I had a youth not too long ago talk about how he doesn't really feel God that often. He does really feel that God is saying much in worship services. He sometimes questions whether God exists, yet he is faithfully attending church and youth group. Sometimes though at kind of random times, during class or elsewhere, it all clicks and he gets how God is at work. They seem to be fleeting moments of clarity and understanding, but they come from time to time.
I have to say that I completely sympathize with that feeling. I over think things. I over think God. I love thinking about God and how God interacts with us, but sometimes all I do is think about God instead of being present with God. I used to have these mystical moments of clarity much like the youth above, which often lead to poetry or a feeling of purpose which was often vague.
I had a previous post about prayer, which was about praying ancient prayers. I still find great power in that, but I have not found the prayer book that works best for me. I don't follow the daily offices or anything. I'm not a protestant monk(should we start some of those?). Following God's call is a struggle sometimes and joy others, but I need to connect with God. It's not just about the ongoing call God has for my life, but for the renewing of my being for the nourishment of the soul. Without God, I don't believe that I can be truly human, or a true human. Truly living into what humanity is--beings who are created in the image of God. Connecting with God helps to renew that image so that we are truly human, emanating the divine truth to the world.
What do you do to connect with the Divine? What do you do to renew the image of God in your being? How do you best come to know the God who created you, loves you, and is constantly re-creating you into a more perfect being?
Peace,
mark
