#13 NPR makes Me Cry (Is this an assertion?)

I was in my car on my way back to work after lunch, when I turned on NRP to see what's going on.  I caught the end of Here and Now, which is produced in Boston.  It was incredibly emotional as people told stories and talked about tragedy and heartache that happened in a city they love.  When signing off Robin Young, the host of the show, had to compose herself before finishing her sign off.  I lost it.  I've never been to Boston.  My home town has never been bombed.  I have never really felt that heartache for my city.  But I bawled because a moment that was supposed to be filled with joy and inspiration was quickly turned into a horrible moment of pain and despair.

Then, I have to juxtapose this feeling with the thought of all the people who moved toward the pain and suffering.  The people who cared enough to reach out to the stranger and help stop the bleeding, or move someone from harms way.  The EMT and Police Officers who are trained to react in way to help and protect in this moment. Here is a great piece to read about this from comedian Patton Oswald, it is amazing and well worth the read.

Many people after moments like this can say where is Christ in this?  Where was God?  Why would God allow this?  This along with thousands of other tragedies that unfold all throughout the world, such as earthquakes, terrorist attacks, and homicide on the street corner, cause people to think critically about who they believe God is in the face of it all.

Some will stick to old party lines that God ordained this and is somehow using it for God's purpose.  Where is the love in that?  Or some will say things like God doesn't cause this to happen but God can bring good out of it.  This is better, but if God has the power to stop it then why doesn't God.  This is a classic question of theodicy.  And one that almost always leave us wanting for a better explanation.  If this interests you, then check out Tony Jones blog, where this weeks "Questions that Haunt Christianity" is about just this.  Leave a comment and see Tony's response on Saturday, I think.

Here is how I come down on it, but again, I don't know that I have anything useful to say: I believe that God is loving to the extreme meaning that God limits God's power because love requires choice.  You can choose to love, to hate, or to be indifferent, but regardless it requires choice.  Giving us choice means we can choose to do absolutely awful things to each other.  It is a side effect of the opportunity to love.  This love that God has chosen for us led God to become incarnate, enter into the mess we have made, then suffer and die under our rule only to overcome it through resurrection.

The question posed earlier was where is Christ in all of this?  My thought is that you can see Christ on every suffering face.  You can see the crucified Christ in every victim of pointless acts of violence.  You can see Christ face in every moment of death and despair.  But you can also see the Rise Christ on the face of every person who turned towards his/her neighbor and helped.  You can see Christ Resurrected in every person who is offering love and grace in the midst of grief.  You can see God's Kingdom intersect with ours when a person steps out of his/her normal role and expectation to risk loving in the face of pain, suffering, and injustice.

Let's not try to make sense of the senseless.  Instead, let's live a life where we know that God reveals love and grace through both Good Friday moments and through Easter Sunday moments.  From the pain and suffering of the Good Friday comes the new creation of Resurrection.  This is the Hope of the Christian faith. My prayer is that we can live resurrection in the face of despair for others and can see the Resurrection from the help of others in the face of our own struggles, pain and despair.

#12 Lack of Coffee causes Mild to Severe Irritability.

Yesterday, I made the last of my coffee, but forgot all about it when I went to the store.  This morning my day started with cereal with my daughter.  Usually, I have cereal and coffee.  There was no coffee.  I thought no big deal.  I'll get a cup of coffee on the way to work and be fine.  Well, as the morning progressed, I found that everything began to make me incredibly anger.  Angrier than I should be for just, you know, a two year old running off with her blankets while we were making her bed.

The kicker for me, when I realized how caffeine withdrawals effect me was as we were all leaving to head to work.  My wife forgot her lunch, and ran back into to get it, which mildly annoyed me (but shouldn't have).  Then, I came back out with all the pieces of leftover home made pizza.  She basically said that's more than I need and why didn't I just take a piece or two out for me.  Usually, I would have just said I don't know, it didn't cross my mind and we would have worked it out.  Instead, my withdrawing self saw this utterance as an attack on my intelligence.  So I got really mad and hateful with her--over pizza.

Now that I have had really big cup of coffee, I realize how stupid I was.  Is this how people are when they quit smoking or some other drug?  They don't feel normal until that next hit of whatever.  I didn't have hallucinations of dead babies crawling on the ceiling like in Trainspotting, but I kind of get how some people do awful things to get the next fix.

In conclusion, I'm sorry for being a jackass to my wife.  I am an addict.