#15 Projection is not just for walls and screens.

My wife and daughter were out shopping the other day, and they had a rather peculiar experience.  After they had found all the things they were looking for and more, I'm sure, they went up to check out their wares.  The lady at the check out counter looked down at my two and a half year old daughter and said, "She looks guilty of something.  I'm going to be a mom soon and I can tell she is guilty of something."

My wife was speechless (a rare feat) and another worker in the store told the check out lady not to say things like that.  It was a rather odd circumstance.  This encounter made me think about projection, or more precisely this tale of this encounter made me think about projection.  I wasn't there so this is all hearsay.  I wondered what this lady was feeling guilty about that she would project it onto a cute, harmless, intelligent little toddler (I'm not biased about this kid at all, these things are all objectively true).

My thoughts of course jumped to her feeling guilty about being pregnant, which I am only assuming she is by the comment.  I have no other proof and my wife did not specify whether the lady had a baby bump or not, so it could be a poor assumption.  Then, I thought, "how incredibly Victorian Era of me to think that this woman feels guilty about becoming pregnant.  Sex isn't shameful and producing life isn't either."

My thoughts then turned to generalizations.  What if instead of projecting her own  feelings onto my genius like tot, she's projecting a generalization she holds about genius little tots.  Maybe she thinks that all children are actually guilty of something especially in a store.  This could all stem from her stealing something as a kid.   That can mess you up just ask Saint Augustine.  Regardless of where it comes from, it made me think slightly differently about projection, When it is a generalization is it called something else? Can a Psychologist please weigh in on this?

We do this all the time we project a generalization on someone when we first meet them as a way to make sense of the world.  We generalized based on race, sex, age, and all kinds of other factors.  Interestingly, not all of these projected generalizations are uniform.  Depending on where you are from and your own life experiences you think differently about different groups of people.  For instance, I don't look at a two year old and automatically think you are guilty of something.  I think look at this toddler isn't he or she cute and probably high energy.  Unless they aren't cute, then I want to tell them that there are so many more important qualities than being cute, like being smart and generous.

Regardless of whether you are projecting your feelings, beliefs, or generalizations on other people it still says more about you and your life experience than it says about the other person. So if you want to really get to know yourself, then spend some time meeting new people and see what you think about them before you know them.  Then, read your projection likes it a PowerPoint presentation in Psych 203: Awareness and Self-hood.  (Hat tip to all you starting college today.)